Is it your role as a parent to buy your toddler a cookie so he is quiet in the store? No! Is it your role as a parent to give in to your child because she is sad? No! Is it your role to make them happy? No!
It is your role to teach your toddler, child or teenager the life skills they need to succeed in life.
Self-control is a life skill and your child will begin to learn it and manipulate it when he or she is a baby. Whether you believe it or not, falling asleep is a life skill that many parents never teach their babies because they don’t want their baby to cry. It is possible, with every toddler and every child, to operate with self-control by utilizing effective parenting strategies.
It is your role to pre-frame your outing by telling your child what is important to you and by finding out what is important to them. If their fuel is the free cookie, you could say, “Little Timmy, I would love for you to have that cookie! What do you need to do to earn yourself a cookie?” “…quiet, be good, listen.” When they say the correct answer, and they will every time, praise your toddler. In fact, you could praise your toddler every 2-3 minutes the entire time you are in the store, and then again with even more positive praise on your way out of the store.
Include them into your shopping trip by offering them parent approved decisions as choices to make: “Little Timmy, would you love to get this organic cereal with vanilla, almond or berry flavor?” “I would love to have Vanilla.” If they are really young, they can just point to the box. This is called guiding behavior with love beforehand verses using punishment discipline techniques to create a fun, loving and peaceful outing every want them to have real opportunities.There is always a way to say yes, and to guide your child or teenager to the outcome you is an effective use of your positive parenting skills.